Ranking Every Eagles Playoff Loss by Postgame Depression Since I’ve Been a Fan: Part 3
In the fall of 2003, I became emotionally invested to a concerning degree about a team named the Philadelphia Eagles. I’ve experienced the highs of seeing my team hoist the Lombardi Trophy for the first two times in its franchise history. For fans of other NFL teams, the lows typically take form in the shape of a twelve-loss season or an injury to a star player. For Philadelphia sports fans, the lows regularly question your dedication and, more often than not, your sanity. These include the palpable dread of never feeling like a substantial lead is safe, a season with high expectations quickly turning into a season from Hell, and perpetually worrying about the cloud of drama that casts its shadow over the team. But, to be a devout Philly sports fan, one must be willing to be a masochist. The recent loss to the 49ers in the Wild Card round ended a season that featured all three of these lows in some capacity. So instead of going to therapy or finding a more productive hobby, I have decided to rank the Eagles’ playoff losses during my time as a fan from the least to most depressing. This four-part series will highlight the emotional turmoil I endured throughout each playoff loss and all the awful plays that still infuriate me years later.
Criteria:
For Part 3, these games left me upset for weeks. These were some really fun teams that all felt like they would win it all before their seasons ended in gut-wrenching one-score losses. Who knew that hall of fame QBs, jinxes, and conspiracies are difficult to overcome in the postseason?
Again, only playoff losses are included, so the Super Bowl wins and losses that eliminated the Eagles from playoff contention in the regular season will not appear in these rankings.
#6: 2010 Packers 21 Eagles 16
Another season comprised of so many memorable moments finishes in another playoff heartbreak. Michael Vick balled out in a year of resurgence to become one of flashiest playmakers in the NFL once again. He even led the Birds on their incredible comeback against the Giants in the Miracle at the Meadowlands Number Two. In what ended up being his last game with the Birds, Eagles kicking legend David Akers missed a couple of easy kicks that ultimately ended up being a major difference in a one-score game. I wanted to swear after each failed attempt, but I didn’t want to use any profanities in front of my Grandma Helen.
I saved the foul language for my father who made the cursed cuisine of sloppy joes that day. For whatever reason, my father cooked up sloppy joes on multiple Sundays of the 2010 season. Each time they were made, the Eagles lost. Even though I begged and begged to have sloppy joes be served on any other night in the week, my callous Steeler fan of a father refused and the Birds were jinxed that day. The Eagles were driving with a chance to win in the last minute of the game, but an unnecessary interception forced into the endzone wrapped up the season. I exacted my revenge a few weeks later when the Steelers faced the Packers in the Super Bowl that year. I bought a cheap container of Manwich, heated it up in a microwave, and took pleasure as Pittsburgh failed to secure their seventh title. My father finally acknowledged the legitimacy of the jinx and sloppy joes were never served on a football Sunday ever again.
#5: 2018 Saints 20 Eagles 14
This game generated immeasurable levels of frustration within me. In the first ten minutes of the game, the Eagles scored fourteen points and looked dominant. The Eagles offense the rest of game did not look dominant and ended the game with fourteen total points. When the Eagles finally looked competent near the end of the game, Alshon Jeffrey dropped a would-be first-down catch on a fourth down play that should have been made. There would be no second annual parade down Broad Street. What still pisses me off the most about this game seven years later is the obvious fake punt the Saints dialed up on 4th and 1 in the first half. New Orleans players conspicuously looked around at each other and then Taysom Hill, a well-known gadget player, lined up right by the longsnapper. Hill converted a short rush and more importantly, the Saints seized momentum that was never relinquished.
This game shouldn’t have made me so upset. The Eagles won their first championship eleven months prior to this loss and were just coming off a victory in the famous Double Doink game. However, I just wanted to see the Eagles win once against Drew Brees. That man loved to rip my heart out in January and spit on it.
Hawk Drewah man!
Hahah! After 7 seasons it still hurts!
#4: 2004 Patriots 24 Eagles 21
Tears continued to roll down my cheeks as the opening theme of a postgame special episode of The Simpsons blasted out from the muffled speakers of my family’s old boxy television set. For the second time in my two years as an Eagles fan, another dominant regular season left a young Ev Dog crushed. Confused by the 100% disappointment rate, my nine-year-old self questioned the dissonance of the award process between my youth recreational soccer leagues and the National Football League. The fact that your team didn’t get to celebrate with pizza and trophies after a wonderful year was difficult to compute. Furthermore, I struggled seeing my soup-sponsored hero, Donovan McNabb, dropping the bowl in the most important game of his career.
I anticipated receiving a lot of shit from my Pittsburgh family members as they would rub the score of four rings to none once again. I was gifted that shit talk during my birthday weekend in November 2004 following an embarrassing 27-3 defeat at the hands of the Steelers. It put quite the damper on my rollerblading birthday party that year.
This ranking is probably a bit controversial due to it being a close loss in the Super Bowl. However, unlike many older Eagles fans, my fandom started at a time when the Eagles weren’t a complete dumpster fire. In my second season of watching the team, they had advanced one step further than they did in 2003 and were only one step away from being at the top of the NFL mountaintop. The 2005 season would certainly culminate in the greatest moment in Philadelphia sports history and not a season derailed by injuries and drama. No siree!
The Simpsons episode also helped soften the blow. I loved The Simpsons as a kid. And while I didn’t appreciate the golden era of the show’s episodes until my early twenties, the inferior episodes of the 2000’s offered comfort to me. Whether if it was coming home after a tough day of fractions in math class or experiencing Super Bowl heartbreak for the first time, the characters of Springfield were there for me as a perfect combination of mild entertainment and distraction. However, as I began to calm down on that February night, a new yellow-skinned character appeared in the mediocre postgame episode and prevented any chance of forgetting the loss that night. This character’s name was…Tom Brady. The quarterback’s cameo twisted the knife deeper, but my younger self found solace in my first sports conspiracy theory. Fox rigged the game from the start!