Scoop Friday: Faye’s Ice Cream Parlor – Banana Split
Due to the fatigue from a long day, I decided to stay local for this week’s Scoop Friday. In the heart of New Cumberland, sandwiched between a local theater and a body piercing shop, Modern Ethos, lies Faye’s Ice Cream Parlor. (New Cumberland used to have Modern Pathos and Logos stores as well until the town’s English 101 curriculum standards plummeted in recent years.) I may have driven less than five minutes to my destination, but as I walked through the front door, I time traveled sixty years back in time.
An eclectic collection of Coca-Cola memorabilia, portraits of classic cars, and stills of starlets long dead from FBI-induced barbiturate overdoses adorn the vintage surf-green-colored walls. Checkered valances and hot-rod-red-colored chairs augmented its anachronistic aesthetic. Completing Faye’s interior décor was a vibrant jukebox. Unfortunately, even with a few hearty bumps of the ol’ elbow, its modern, inauthentic, for-display-only design did not allow for customers to insert a quarter and select a ditty by their favorite crooner from the time. Instead, the ears of patrons were subjected to an online 50s radio station playing in the speakers above them. While I was disappointed that I likely wouldn’t get to listen to either of The Big Bopper or Dewey Cox serenade me with the golden classics of yesteryear as I consume hundreds of calories, my demeanor remained ebullient as I would soon get to try a treat fitting of this parlor’s predominant theme.
Like Mickey Mantle, I stepped up to the plate ready to swing for the fences with my order. A breaking ball of a menu item in Ice Cream Nachos nearly tempted me at the last minute with its curves and zesty nature, but I ultimately decided to stay faithful with my request of the timeless classic, a banana split.
I didn’t like the idea of the Betty Boop and young Elvis statues looking down on me with disdain as I scarfed down a treat recommended for two people, so I decided to head to the more-welcoming and less creepy back seating area. I also felt a bit overwhelmed with it being my first time ever eating a banana split. Likely due to odd juvenile textural preferences, I despised bananas and their artificially-flavored candy impersonators by association. Now, I eat one every day and am able to tolerate the candy version as well. Additionally, my tired hamstrings desired some potassium from a longer hilly-ocentric run earlier in the morning. My gold-standard nutritional regimen remains unmatched amongst food-reviewing bloggers!
At first glance, the boat-shaped dish’s deck appeared to be bustling with activity and passengers. Waves of whipped cream engulfed the three scoops while the two banana slices safely buoyed on the sides. Suddenly, I noticed the maraschino cherry start the charades contest early with a riveting impression of Jack from Titanic as it sank into the arctic waters of the melting cream that surrounded it. I needed to join in on the fun fast or I faced being left with just a pool of assorted flavors.
I’ll never let go! Maraschino, I promise.
I started with the vanilla scoop topped with pineapple shavings. I mainly focused on the above-average-tasting plain vanilla before my spoon became an adventurous explorer of tropical fruit and mixed in some pineapple. The tangy and acidic fruit normally resonates with my tastebuds, but failed to connect with them in this format. I took a respite from that third of the dish and moved over to the chocolate section in the middle. While I’m usually not the biggest fan of chocolate ice cream, this cocoa-rich sojourn with the addition of chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and the occasional banana bite generated a delectable dessert nirvana in my mouth. (To be fair, whipped cream and chocolate sauce can enhance just about anything!) I appreciated that the namesake’s star fruit ability to excel just by simply being ripe and not mushy. The strawberry ice cream lacked a strawberry flavor when the presence of the strawberry sauce was absent. I enjoyed the union of strawberry and chocolate sauces as an elevating merger to what was just likely another scoop of vanilla. However, I realized that wasn’t the only element omitted from my dish. Chopped nuts should be gracing the exterior of the scoop trio, but none were to be found. At least Vince from infomercials like ShamWow and the Slap Chop didn’t accost me and express how I’d love his nuts. Given that I paid $9.50 for a dessert revolving around the cheapest fruit and three scoops of ice cream, I became slightly vexed. Perhaps, the price stems from the exotic canned pineapple addition!
Can-Pineapple-Apple-Can
As I continued to shovel the pricey lumps down my furnace, Frank Sinatra’s rendition of “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” started roaring through the speakers directly above me. At that moment, with the aforementioned atmosphere around me, I could understand why acrimonious people in recent years with a complexion as white as the remainder of my vanilla have clamored for the “great” days of their younger years when their local ice cream parlor served a sanctuary. There they could escape away from their teenage problems, forget about the Korean War ever happening, and shout slurs at those in the segregated section with a complexion similar to that of the remainder of my chocolate ice cream (and at those with a vanilla complexion but with different religious beliefs as well). However, unlike those bigots, I am able to comprehend the wisdom and deeper significance embedded into this iconic frozen treat. Like the banana split with its admirable fusion of heterogenous flavors, a diverse populace strengthens our communities. Together, we can accomplish far more than we ever could alone.
Happy Juneteenth everyone!
