Ranking Every Eagles Playoff Loss by Postgame Depression Since I’ve Been a Fan: Part 4
In the fall of 2003, I became emotionally invested to a concerning degree about a team named the Philadelphia Eagles. I’ve experienced the highs of seeing my team hoist the Lombardi Trophy for the first two times in its franchise history. For fans of other NFL teams, the lows typically take form in the shape of a twelve-loss season or an injury to a star player. For Philadelphia sports fans, the lows regularly question your dedication and, more often than not, your sanity. These include the palpable dread of never feeling like a substantial lead is safe, a season with high expectations quickly turning into a season from Hell, and perpetually worrying about the cloud of drama that casts its shadow over the team. But, to be a devout Philly sports fan, one must be willing to be a masochist. The recent loss to the 49ers in the Wild Card round ended a season that featured all three of these lows in some capacity. So instead of going to therapy or finding a more productive hobby, I have decided to rank the Eagles’ playoff losses during my time as a fan from the least to most depressing. This four-part series will highlight the emotional turmoil I endured throughout each playoff loss and all the awful plays that still infuriate me years later.
Criteria:
For Part 4, these games left me upset for months or longer as I’d wonder in the seasons after these games when will the first one or next one come. Did we blow it? While I am not nostalgic in the traditional sense over these games, I do connect with the word Nostalgia’s Greek origin. Nostos meaning return home and algos meaning pain. Years later and multiple championships later, returning to these three losses and watching their highlights on YouTube for the first time brought ever me lots of algos.
*Note: These anecdotes and game summaries in these specific rankings are overly verbose! I think the most entertaining portion of each is the final paragraph of each section.
#3: 2008 Cardinals 32 Eagles 25
The 2008 season was the most bizarre, up-and-down season, I have ever witnessed from an Eagles team. Still, this squad had a special aura attached to them. Despite recording a peculiar tie in Cincinnati, an embarrassing loss in Baltimore that saw Donovan McNabb get benched, and no control over their ability to clinch a playoff spot as they entered Week 17, this team somehow found plot armor that saved them several times throughout the season and made them feel destined for glory.
In Week 17, to clinch a playoff berth, the Eagles would need the Buccaneers and Bears to both lose to teams with losing records and an Eagles win over the dreaded Dallas Cowboys, who were also vying for the 6th seed. The first two requirements were met thanks to unexpected losses knocking out Chicago and Tampa Bay. To achieve the third, the providential 2008 Eagles demolished the Cowboys in their win-and-in game. I couldn’t believe it, but after the Phillies won their first title of my lifetime in October of 2008, it felt inevitable that this Eagles team, hitting their stride at the right time, would follow suit.
They certainly looked like a team of destiny in their first two road playoff matchups as they ousted both Minnesota and the reigning champs, the New York Football Giants. The next matchup versus a revitalized field general in Kurt Warner and his skilled wide receiver corps, would setup a Battle of the Bird teams. As these teams prepared for their conference championship clash, I had my own familial battle to overcome as I feared missing the game entirely.
On the day of the game, my family planned to celebrate my sister’s birthday at a symphony that started at the same time as the game. Despite my vocal protests of requesting to stay home and watch the game, I was forced to reluctantly attend the event. I do wonder if the show started when the Steelers played later in the evening, would my Steelers fan family members have bought tickets to the Saturday show instead. Probably, though, they certainly regretted inviting me to the Sunday show as I kept badgering my parents for the keys to the car to listen to the game. After five failed attempts, I decided to just watch the show in an effort to distract my curious mind from wondering if the Eagles were winning or losing. I found the beautiful melody they played on the stage to be enchanting as my attention was now fully focused on the show and its ethereal tune. Five minutes later, I was out like a light. I missed a vast majority of the second half and ticked off my parents by wasting an expensive ticket. The fact that I snored loudly a few times as well did not ease tensions between the two sides.
Following the curtain call, I rushed my family out to our van as fast as I could and turned on the radio as soon as the engine started. I didn’t miss much. The Eagles were losing 24-6 early in the third quarter as Larry Fitzgerald made the defensive backs look like Junior Varsity backups as he exhibited exactly why he would one day earn a bust in the NFL Hall of Fame. On the first play of the game that I got the opportunity to listen to, the Eagles lost the ball as a linebacker went unblocked straight to McNabb on a quick rush on his blindside. I pouted and walked back to the tighter last row of seats before strapping on my seatbelt. However, by the time we got home, things started to turn around.
At the end of the third quarter, the Eagles offense caught fire and scored two touchdowns to once again make it a game. Early in the fourth quarter, another touchdown drive gave this destined Eagles team their first lead of the day. Moreover, it provided Eagles fans with wholehearted conviction that their team was not only going to mount the greatest comeback in team playoff history, but also become the second Philly team in four months to host a parade down Broad Street. That was until our wings flew too close to the Arizona sun and the Eagles defensive backs forgot how to play football. With under three minutes left, the Cardinals regained the lead. On the ensuing Eagles drive, a Kevin Curtis legacy game was marred as McNabb failed to connect with him on a 4th and 10 play to stay in the game. Real ones know there was blatant defensive pass interference on this play as Curtis was tackled prior to the ball being anywhere close to him. However, no flags were thrown and the demise of this team of destiny caused a great disturbance in the force, as if millions of Eagles fans suddenly cried out a single word in terror, “RIGGED!”
A couple of other reasons why this one stung so much include the desire to play the Steelers in a Keystone State Super Bowl. We had beaten them earlier in the regular season and I honestly believe we would have beaten them again. Instead, I got to hear SIX versus zero be constantly thrown in my face during any sports argument for the next decade. Additionally, television and possibly my life would have peaked if I could have watched both the Eagles win the title and all-time classic The Office postgame episode Stress Relief in the same night. Unfortunately, I lived in envy while the Steelers fans in my life got to experience my ultimate TV fantasy.
What could have been :(
#2: 2003 Panthers 14 Eagles 3
As stated above and in every other entry in this series, this is the season I became a devout Eagles fan. I decided to follow in my maternal grandfather’s footsteps of being an angry Philadelphia sports fan instead of my dad’s footsteps of being a malcontent Pittsburgh fan. After a 2-2 start, I questioned my decision as I experienced both the feeling of a regular season heartbreak and a close rivalry loss for the first time in Week 5 when the Birds lost a nailbiter to Dallas. On a positive note, I got to try Chewy Sprees for the first time after successfully begging to my mom to buy them during a postgame Dollar Tree excursion. The tangy and sweet punch of this newly discovered candy provided temporary relief from a rough sports start to Autumn that featured an NFL team with a losing record and a recent Phillies wild card choke at the end of the 2003 MLB regular season. However, weekly sugar postgame therapy sessions would not become a tradition as the Eagles dominated their opponents and would only lose one more game the rest of the regular season.
The postseason started out strong and the winning vibes continued. Even when their team wasn’t playing due to clinching a first-round bye, Eagles fans got to the chance to celebrate as the Cowboys lost to the Carolina Panthers, a recent expansion team that boasted only a paltry 1-15 record two seasons ago, in the Wild Card Round. In the Divisional Round, the Eagles offense converted a 4th and 26, one of the most famous plays in team history, late in the 4th quarter against the Packers to keep the game and season alive. The Eagles tied the game later that drive and would eventually win the game in overtime. With the win, they basically punched their ticket to the Super Bowl as the NFC Championship game would just be a formality with their opponent being Carolina, a team with Jake friggin’ Delhomme as their starting quarterback.
In January of 2004, I learned an important lesson in humility and never overlooking your opponent based on their quarterback or previous record. It was actually the second lesson I learned that season. Fittingly, in the fall of 2003 I listened to Sheryl Crow’s hit song The First Cut Is the Deepest for the first time in my family’s Honda Odyssey minivan. I paid little attention to the music as I intently reviewed the NFL standings in the sports pages of our local newspaper that indicated the Eagles had a two-game lead in their division. This young sports fan should have listened to Sheryl as she warned me of the painful wisdom originally written by Rod Stewart. On the evening of January 18th, 2004, I sustained a major emotional wound as I watched my beloved team lose for the first time in the playoffs.
If you or a loved one were subjected to the Eagles offense in this game you may be entitled to financial compensation. Simply, this was a rough watch. Even in what may have been one of the most pathetic Philadelphia offensive performances of the 21st century, the Birds still found a way to build their fans up with three hours of hope only to let them down over and over again throughout the game. Each promising drive was stymied by either a poor coaching decision, a missed block, or one of the several interceptions thrown by an Eagles quarterback that night.
In addition to these offensive woes, the night was made worse by the fact that a younger Joe Buck was on the call. I’ve enjoyed his broadcasting over the past decade as he’s loosened up, but in the early stages of his career, he lacked the ability to vocalize an exciting play, held an anti-Philly bias across multiple sports, and worst of all, he always called the game with a stick up his ass. If you don’t believe me on that last point, go watch the Randy Moss mooning taunt clip on YouTube right now and see how chill Troy Aikman and Chris Collinsworth are in comparison.
Personally, I knew it was over when Donovan McNabb left the game with an injury and my least favorite Eagles backup QB of all time (a list for another day), Koy Detmer, entered the game. Admittedly, he played better than McNabb that night, but he still threw an awful pick that sealed the result and put the final nail in the 2003 season’s coffin.
In his final game as an Eagles player, running back Duce Staley, a future Eagles assistant coach, was one of the only offensive players that actually showed up and produced when he was given the ball. At the time, I was also too young to appreciate that his name was Duce and he rocked a number 22 jersey number that in case you didn’t know includes two deuces.
In my earlier Eagles years of fandom, I’d normally would cry for a bit after a loss like this and even occasionally work myself into a tizzy where my outrage would lead to an asthma attack. However, this game exhausted me emotionally. I definitely screamed at the TV in an animated fashion during the game, but after it concluded, all I could think to do was to walk over to the drink table like a depressed man in the 1950s and pour myself a tall glass of bourbon to ease the pain. Given that I was an eight-year-old boy at the time, I opted for a tall glass of Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi. I sat back down and sighed. I stared blankly ahead and wondered about the painful, unfamiliar sensation of playoff loss depression I felt in that moment. Between sips of my emotional support cola, I thought to myself, “So, this is what it’s like to be an Eagles fan.”
No matter what year it is, no matter what I drink, the pain remains the same.
#1: 2004 Chiefs 38 Eagles 35
On the night before the big game, I recall hearing jokes at a groomsmen dinner taking place at a decent Mexican restaurant outside of Pittsburgh. The topic of discussion was the desired result of the next day’s game for neutral fans. Surprisingly, the Steelers fans there wanted the Eagles to win. Their reasoning was twofold: first, to see the irritating-to-watch Chiefs lose, and second, to see the city of Philadelphia burn down in celebration. I took the jabs in stride as I knew their team was in the midst of a rough stretch of mediocrity. Not to mention, internally, I was making travel arrangements. I may have been living over five hours away at that time, but I would undoubtedly be in attendance for this year’s parade after missing the last one five years prior. I wasn’t going to repeat the mistake of the 2003 playoffs and overlook Patrick Mahomes, but I had unwavering faith in the 2022 Eagles. My confidence primarily stemmed from the swagger this Eagles team played with all year as they dominated their competition and were quite reminiscent of the 2017 team that ended their season in glory.
As the national anthem started, I filled the remainder of my paper plate with a variety of dips and cracked open my fourth Bud Light of the evening. I took my place on the couch at my friend Andrew’s house in the Plum area of suburban Pittsburgh. Despite my internal protest, the local high school has still not changed their mascot to the Sugar Fairies. To their credit, Plum Burrough does give its residents purple trash cans. My attention shifted away quickly from local municipality receptacles to the game as both sides traded blow for blow.
After an offseason of the team and fans being interested in trading him for Russell “Mr. Unlimited” Wilson, Jalen Hurts had a nearly impeccable first half. As the Eagles started to gain control of the game and looked to build a 14-point advantage, Hurts made his only significant mistake of the game with a bobbled throw turned fumble on 3rd and 6 that led to a Chiefs scoop and score. This would have probably never had happened and the Eagles may have won the game comfortably if on the prior snap, Isaac Seumalo didn’t commit a false start penalty right before a successful Tush Push attempt on 3rd and 1. Still, things looked bright at the end of the first half. The Eagles had a ten-point lead and Mahomes was dealing with an ankle issue. Like many sports fans, I never cheer for opposing players to get seriously injured. However, we’re lying to ourselves if we don’t admit that if our team is going up against a player of his caliber, you don’t mind that if he gets a bit shaken up and has to battle through injuries the rest of the game.
I chugged my sixth beer as Rhianna rubbed her pregnant tummy. While this took place, Patrick Mahomes had his ankle shot up with a combination of what I’d have to imagine contained equal parts cortisone and speed. The difference was immediately noticeable as the Chiefs quickly scored on the first drive of the second half. This trend continued as the Eagles defense looked unprepared and failed to make adjustments throughout the second half as the Chiefs captured their first lead of the game in the fourth quarter. It didn’t help that Defensive Coordinator Jonathan Gannon was preoccupied with his future responsibilities. Earlier in the week, after accepting the role as the next Cardinals head coach, he spent precious time talking with his new team’s owners instead of preparing for a vaunted Kansas City offense.
Despite the game taking place in an indoor arena in Glendale, Arizona, both defenses were impacted by the field essentially being a slip ‘n slide that heavily favored the offenses. George Toma, the groundskeeper in charge of preparing the field for the Super Bowl, somehow had the nickname of “The Sodfather.” It should also be noted that Toma had a long history of working for and being a fan of the Kansas City professional sports teams. While the Eagles 4th quarter punt was also shit, these dreadful field conditions likely contributed to missed tackles on a Chiefs punt return that put Kansas City in prime position to extend their lead.
After falling behind by eight points, the Hurts-led offense quickly responded and tied up the game. However, the defense continued to let up chunk play after chunk play on the final Chiefs drive. The Eagles offense and fans were left helpless as a disappointing defensive performance was capped off by a ticky-tack defensive holding penalty that set the Chiefs up with the opportunity to continue to run a couple more minutes off the clock in the waning moments of the game. I sat in disbelief as the offense could do nothing to win the game on their own terms with just eight seconds remaining. On the final play of the game Hurts tripped over his center and was only able to throw a Hail Mary twenty yards when it needed to go another forty to have a chance at anything.
The confetti started to drop and so did my spirits. I wanted to be alone, but I was in no state to drive. Not only was I nine brewskis deep, but even if I was sober, I couldn’t stop thinking about what had just happened and the arduous way in which my team suffered the most emotionally taxing defeat in my lifetime. I fluctuated through the first four stages of grief. I tried to find any excuse on Reddit for what caused the Eagles to lose and angrily upvoted any comment that strengthened my inability to accept the ending.
As my friends went to bed, I moved into a different room where I would try to find a way to get some sleep and hopefully either feel better in the morning or at least have six hours of time not spent thinking about the game. After an hour of failing to catch some Z’s, I decided to go back to the fridge to get another beer. Almost twenty years after the Panthers game, I once again found myself staring blankly ahead in the darkness. Like when I was eight, I desperately held a cold drink in my hand with an intended purpose to make me feel something more positive than the depressing nothingness of a postseason loss. The drink had no effect. The only thought that returned to my mind was, “So, this is what it’s like to be an Eagles fan.”