76ers 2026 Offseason Wishlist Part 1 – Ode to Hip-Hop
Another year, another dejecting second-round playoff exit for the Philadelphia 76ers. After recently being swept by the Knicks, the Sixers have a litany of issues to resolve this offseason. In part 1, I originally intended on having multiple wishes here to help address a few of them, but it quickly devolved into a singular demand and a verbose tribute to a former mascot. A part two will come out next week with my remaining requests. In the meantime, Enjoy!
The main faces of basketball during my childhood — Time, where have you gone?
1. Bring Back Hip-Hop on a Full-time Basis
In the late 1990s and early 2000s, no professional athlete had a greater impact on the cultural zeitgeist than Allen Iverson. Rocking baggy shorts on the court, iconic braids, tattoos, and a Fuck You attitude, A.I. was an emblematic unification of the cool aspects from both basketball and rap music at that time. Fittingly, his top running mate during this era was not an elder statesman like Dikembe Mutombo or an up-and-coming twelve-points-per-game teammate, but the jacked durag-clad rabbit mascot named Hip-Hop. A few different attributes allowed this bunny to serve as an ideal Philly sports team mascot: he intimidated opponents with his unadulterated swagger, his toughness matched the rough-around-the-edges nature of his blue-collar city by performing acrobatic stunts on torn ligaments on multiple occasions, and his appearance resembled that of a crackhead you might meet when accidentally walking down the wrong street in early 2000s Kensington.
GET OUT OF HIS HEAD MAN!
Together, the superstar guard and nimble bunny duo brought out the best in each other. Iverson scored in droves and Hip-Hop consistently thrilled the crowd with awe-inspiring halftime trampoline dunks. This fruitful partnership peaked in 2001 as the Sixers made their first NBA Finals appearance in 18 years and Iverson pulled off the notorious Ty Lue stepover play. Even after A.I. got traded in 2006, Hip-Hop’s influence continued to inspire late 2000s 76ers rosters devoid of talent as the scrappy motley crews played above their subpar level with enough tenacity to lose their first-round playoff series in five games instead of just four.
Despite his beneficial effect, Hip-Hop was deposed in 2011 due to a political witch hunt revolving around the malicious hoax that children were scared of him. A few seasons later, the family-friendly, bland blue dog named Franklin was introduced. The crowd went mild. Even as a renowned dog guy, yours truly has always been an avid hater of the unimaginative canine. I’d cherish Franklin if he actually looked like his founding father namesake. To properly transform his look, I’d make him a portly bifocal-wearing hound dog holding one of his innovative contraptions in his left hand and a French whore with his right.
You may need that catheter after a night with her, Ben!
Still, the people need an electric performer that can execute high-flying halftime stunts even after hitting the pipe. Fortunately, the Iverson-era black jerseys were revived in the 2025-2026 season as an alternate jersey in an effort to celebrate the 2001 team and to profit off of fan nostalgia. Also making his triumphant return on the nights where the team wore these jerseys, was none other than Hip-Hop. However, a part-time gig is not enough! It’s time for Hip-Hop to once again become the full-time 76ers mascot. The team now rife with talent (ignore depth concerns please) but lacking the fortitude needed to advance in the playoffs needs Hip-Hop’s radiating strength and audacious presence to guide them to the promised land. Furthermore, it won’t affect the salary cap, so the financially-strapped franchise can afford it. Not to mention, Hip-Hop, Gritty and the Phillie Phanatic would create the holy trinity of both immaculate and representative-of-the-fanbase mascots. (No offense to the Eagles mascot, Swoop! He seems like a good family-oriented mascot, but no one cares about NFL mascots when there’s a dearth of home games typically limited to just eight per season. Not to mention, he’s been outshined by the real live eagle, Lincoln, who soars across from one end of the stadium to the other before the start of each game.)
I think the city’s finally ready for a full-time dose of this inimitable rabbit mascot as well. He’s the hero Philadelphia deserves and the one it needs right now. Adam Silver and the corrupt NBA will hunt him because he can take it. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight Hip-Hop.
